GoBBLe GoBBLe

Happy Thanksgiving to my friends and family!  I hope you all find some time to relax with your family and to be reminded of what you are thankful for.  This year I am especially thankful for my family and friends.  I know we all say that--but really--I am.  I am also thankful for all that I have been given in life when so much of it I don't deserve.  I am truly blessed in life.

We are headed to Illinois to celebrate Turkey Day with Chris' family.  I'm looking forward to spending some time with them, but I will also miss seeing my family.  I hope you all enjoy your day!

What are YOU thankful for?

GoBBLe GoBBLe

TGIF?

Today was a long day.  I ended up working at my store this morning and then filling in at the Greenwood store tonight for a pharmacist who was sick with the flu.  So, all in all I worked from 8am-9pm.  All I have to say is there is a reason there are 8-hour work days... my feet hurt and i'm tired!  Besides that, it has been three months today, so that was definitely on my mind in between filling scripts.  I would have been 24-weeks.  We love you little one and think of you all the time. 

Short and Sweet

Why is it that weekends go by so much faster than weekdays?  Don't get me wrong, it was enjoyable, but too short (and I just remembered I had a 3-day weekend)!  It started off with lunch with my friend Trina on Friday, and then saw her again on Friday night when we went to dinner with a group of friends from our small group.  We had terrible service but good fellowship :)  

On Saturday, Chris got up at 4am to go hunting.  Yes... 4am.  I went to lunch with my good friend Annie whose husband also went hunting with Chris.  We had a good time catching up at lunch and then went to good ole GHS for the mid-state cheer competition.  She is a teacher for some of the middle school kids and I teach some of them at my sister's studio, so we decided to go together.  This picture is of Annie and I when we were middle schoolers.  We look so much younger than today's kids!  It's probably one of my all-time favorite pictures though... thanks for the memories, Annie! :)

After the cheer competition I ended  up going to the Pacer game with my sister.  She has a team called the Pacers Cheer Pals that performs at games once a month.  Her husband was sick so I ended up going with her since she had an extra ticket.  It was nice to chat with her during the game.  The kids are so cute and did a great job performing!

Today was good because I got to spend it with my hubby.  Since I work some weekends, I really enjoy my weekends off, especially Sundays.  I really have to give him props for being such a great husband.  He is very supportive and always there to give me his shoulder to cry on... literally.  Oh, and in case you were wondering, he got a pheasant while hunting (deer season starts next weekend in Illinois).  He was the only one out of the group to "get" anything so I was happy for him (but not for the others--I wouldn't want to spend hours out in the woods and having nothing to show for it)!

Well, that's all.  I hope you all had a good weekend.  I'm sure yours went by just as fast.

"For when I am weak, then I am strong"

I know, it's been awhile.  It's not that I haven't had anything to say, it's more like finding the right words to write in a way that will make sense.  So, here's my best attempt...

Since our miscarriage i've heard many comments on how i'm handling things so well and how strong I have been.  Well, it's funny because I don't feel that way at all.  I can honestly say that i'm not strong.  I have never felt so weak.  The only reason I appear to be strong is because I have to be.  What other choice do I have?  Life must go on! 

I have learned through this that only God knows what I am going through and what I am capable of.  If you had asked me the day this happened, I would have said I cannot handle this!  But, God has shown me that I can if I let him take care of me.  I have realized that my worries never weakened me to this point before.  They were issues that I thought I could handle on my own.  Now, when I am feeling weak and wonder how to make it through the day, I have to depend on God for strength.  Through all the tears and pain I know that God loves me and will lead me to happiness in his timing.

Grief pushes us to gain a better understanding of the lessons that are there for us to learn.  I may not understand why this had to happen, but I still love God for who he is.  In Job 1:21 it says this, “The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.”  Just because God chose to take our baby away doesn't mean that he doesn't love us.  Is what you know about God big enough to handle what you don’t know in this life?

I'm not even sure if any of that made sense!  Sometimes I struggle to remember it myself.  It is so easy to stray away from the truth and to get wrapped up in the worries of this life. If you are struggling with something in your life, my hope is that this will help you in some way.  Try to depend on God for just one day.  Let go of everything and let God take control.  He can handle so much more than we can!  I will end with a verse that has been on my heart lately...

"...My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.  Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.  That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties.  For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Closer to Love

Well folks, we're back!  It's hard to believe how fast five days in Florida can go.  It really was SO nice to spend time together, and the weather was absolutely beautiful.  Sunny and 90 almost every day.  I would go back in a heartbeat.  I will let the pictures tell the story...

I spent a lot of time at the beach and pool.  This is the lazy river (on the left) and the pool.  I spent a lot of time in the sun, but Chris can't stay in the sun for too long before he gets burnt.   He would join me for a little bit but then had to hit the shade.

Of course, the highlight of our trip for Christopher was when we went fishing!  That's right, we went fishing.  A lot of it was new to me because I don't have much experience with fishing, but we both enjoyed it.  Especially Chris, he loves his fish!  

We caught quite a few fish.  Chris is holding a King Mackerel that he caught, and i'm holding a Red Snapper (and there are a few on the ground behind me that we also caught).  I came really close to catching two others, a baracuda and one of which was probably 5-feet long!  I reeled and reeled and when it was close to the boat he got away.  Darn fishy!  My arms sure got a workout.  Would have been nice to see what I caught though (the captain could see them from the top but we couldn't)!

This is a picture of us taking a "break" from shopping.  I mean, I spent four hours fishing so I deserved four hours of shopping, right?  Lastly, here are a few pictures we snapped on the beach.

For those of you who remember, we were in Florida on October 15th, which is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance day.  You can see that i'm holding a small candle here in honor of our little one and also for any other baby who has been lost. We lit our candle on the beach in memory of our baby.  It was a bittersweet moment.  


All in all, our vacation was great.  I did lots of reading and felt like I maybe moved along in my healing process a bit.  As I head back to work today it's hard to believe that it has been two months since we lost our baby.  I can't remember two months ever going by so fast.  Sometimes it all seems like a blur, but then I think to myself, maybe that's a good thing.  Our little getaway was a great reminder of how lucky I am to have such a loving husband.  I find myself falling more and more in love with him every day.  I'm so grateful for his support through all of this.  Even thought I may struggle to understand some things in life, I still have to stop and realize how blessed I am in life.  

I recently have become a good fan of Mat Kearney.  He was actually in Indy earlier this month.  Chris got me tickets for my birthday and I got to listen to him in person.  I'm not even a big concert person, but I loved it!  You may have heard his song, "Closer to Love" on the radio (it is also on my playlist on the left).  I find myself listening to it every day.  It makes me think of what we've been through and how it has drawn me closer to love... not only closer to my husband but closer to God, who knows how to love more than we will ever know.