God has been working on my heart lately and doing a great amount of healing, but he still continues to push me harder every day. For any of you that don't know, my sister and best friend are both pregnant (about 6 weeks apart). This, in itself, pushes me to be stronger every day. I'll be honest, I am VERY happy for them and I know that their babies are little miracles, but watching them go through this phase in life without me is awful. I just want to be there with them. When I see the joy in their eyes it is just so hard. I have often asked God why he would put me in this situation. Why, when he knew I was already struggling, would he make it so much harder? I don't have an answer really, but obviously he wanted me to keep growing. Losing our baby wasn't enough. He wants us to become stronger for some other undetermined reason. I am convinced that infertility is one of the worst things a woman can go through. You want something so much, but you just can't have it. At least not yet...
"But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities, the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed." Isaiah 53:5
3 comments:
Thanks for sharing your heart!! You are getting stronger each day .. I totally see it!! I am confident He will bless you with a child!! Love you!
Thinking of you. There's a plan- keep the faith!!
I found your blog through a friend of a friend of a friend of a friend. I went through infertility for 3.5 years. After two rounds of IVF, God finally blessed us with twins, a boy and a girl. Infertility is hands down the most difficult thing to go through. I will be praying. Don't give up for God has a plan. He will bless you with beautiful children when the time is right. If you've never seen it, watch the movie "Facing the Giants" It still touches my heart after having seen it many times.
Jen
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